Patience has never been a strength of mine. It's something God's teaching me. DAILY. I truly believe God is testing my heart and motivations. And I'm okay with that. I need to continuously check my heart and motivations myself so I don't get off track because it's so easy in this world to forget my purpose. It's so easy to make this journey about me. And it's not about me. It's all about Him.
So how do I keep my heart in check?
It goes a little something like this.
Me: I'm ready for my memoir to be published. NOW. It's been over a year. I feel like it'll never happen.
The Holy Spirit: God's timing is better than yours.
Me: Yeah, I know, I know. But what if God never plans on letting my memoir be published?
The Holy Spirit: Why did you write this memoir?
Me: To honor God.
The Holy Spirit: And have you honored God by writing it?
The Holy Spirit: Then why does it need to be published? Remember, success in His eyes is different than "worldly" success.
Me: But I want to help other girls who might be going through hard times.
The Holy Spirit: Then do it now by growing in THE WORD daily so when the time comes you are wise in the ways of the Lord. God will not send you out there until you are ready. Work on yourself and let God take care of the rest.
JEREMIAH 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
MATTHEW 6:21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
PHILIPPIANS 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
I have to remind myself DAILY why I'm on this narrow road that seems to be an uphill climb with no end in sight. If I let this become about me, money, and success, then I've failed He who sent me.
And there are days, like yesterday, when God gives me a glimpse of the glory that is found in Him.
I received an email yesterday. For the sake of privacy I'm going to paraphrase the first sentence. The rest is word for word.