April 25, 2016



As a rape survivor, I can never shop at your store again and here's why:

I'm going to take religion and politics off this table for now. Right now I'm coming to you as a woman who has lived the last 17 years of my life looking over my shoulders, always hyper aware of my surroundings, and always in defensive mode around men. It's what happens when you're raped at 15. I know all too well the dangers out there. I've lived that moment when I fought as hard as I could and was still not strong enough to protect myself. I've lived that moment when I thought I was about to be murdered.

Since that day, I've known what lurks in the shadows, waiting for any opportunity to prey on women and children. There are predators out there, all around us. There are far more predators than transgender people, unfortunately. How would I know that? Well, statistics show that 1 in 6 women will become a victim in their lifetime to sexual assault. So, to assume that predators aren't going to take advantage of these new bathroom policies is scarily naïve. And I know that some people will break the law regardless, but why take that chance? Why hand them the keys? Do you care so little for women?

In the past, if I walked into the women's restroom, and then a man walked in a minute later and someone witnessed that, they would run get help. They'd call 911. They'd come check on me. People would be alerted to the fact that a woman is in danger in the restroom. Now, if I walk into the restroom and a man follows, no one will help me.

And if you want to say this is unfair to the transgenders, HERE'S A NEWS FLASH FOR YOU: THEY WERE ALREADY USING THE WOMEN'S RESTROOM AND WE WERE JUST FINE!!!!!!!!!!! I mean come on, really, do you think someone dressed like a woman, acting like a woman, who has been living like a woman uses the men's restroom???? Nope! They have always used the women's restroom. I've never once entered the women's restroom and wondered or worried about whether or not a transgender was in there. It's not like we inspect for Adam's apples at the door. But now, with your so lenient rules that seem to say, "PICK A DOOR, WHICHEVER ONE YOU WANT", I would be afraid in your restrooms. I would be terrified to put myself in such a vulnerable state, WITH MY PANTS AROUND MY ANKLES, knowing that a man could walk in at any second!!

Do you understand what it's like to have that kind of fear? I carry a weapon on me at all times. I avoid going anywhere by myself at night and I absolutely hate parking lots. If a van has tinted windows and is parked beside me, I'll get in on my passenger side. I wish I could live in that happy gumball world full of cotton candy that you seem to live in, but I live in this world, full of it's predators.

So now, you expect us sexual assault survivors to have to share a restroom with whomever decides to walk in? Do you have any idea what kind of panic attack I'd have if I were in the restroom and a man walked in? 1 in 6 women have these same fears as me!!! Regardless of religion, politics, race, or sexual preference, there are A LOT OF US SURVIVORS OUT THERE! Shame on you for being so blind! This is a safety issue, not a hate issue, and I pray you open your eyes before another woman becomes that 1 in 6!!!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Amber, great heartfelt post! I agree with everything you wrote here. I am so sorry you have that "sense" built into your life like that and no one should have to have the extra burden of fear added to the simple exercise of going to the loo! More people should take a stand like this!
God bless