DEAR TARGET.... AS A RAPE SURVIVOR, I CAN NEVER SHOP AT YOUR STORE AGAIN

DEAR TARGET,


As a rape survivor, I can never shop at your store again and here's why:


I'm going to take religion and politics off this table for now. Right now I'm coming to you as a woman who has lived the last 17 years of my life looking over my shoulders, always hyper aware of my surroundings, and always in defensive mode around men. It's what happens when you're raped at 15. I know all too well the dangers out there. I've lived that moment when I fought as hard as I could and was still not strong enough to protect myself. I've lived that moment when I thought I was about to be murdered.


Since that day, I've known what lurks in the shadows, waiting for any opportunity to prey on women and children. There are predators out there, all around us. There are far more predators than transgender people, unfortunately. How would I know that? Well, statistics show that 1 in 6 women will become a victim in their lifetime to sexual assault. So, to assume that predators aren't going to take advantage of these new bathroom policies is scarily naïve. And I know that some people will break the law regardless, but why take that chance? Why hand them the keys? Do you care so little for women?


In the past, if I walked into the women's restroom, and then a man walked in a minute later and someone witnessed that, they would run get help. They'd call 911. They'd come check on me. People would be alerted to the fact that a woman is in danger in the restroom. Now, if I walk into the restroom and a man follows, no one will help me.


And if you want to say this is unfair to the transgenders, HERE'S A NEWS FLASH FOR YOU: THEY WERE ALREADY USING THE WOMEN'S RESTROOM AND WE WERE JUST FINE!!!!!!!!!!! I mean come on, really, do you think someone dressed like a woman, acting like a woman, who has been living like a woman uses the men's restroom???? Nope! They have always used the women's restroom. I've never once entered the women's restroom and wondered or worried about whether or not a transgender was in there. It's not like we inspect for Adam's apples at the door. But now, with your so lenient rules that seem to say, "PICK A DOOR, WHICHEVER ONE YOU WANT", I would be afraid in your restrooms. I would be terrified to put myself in such a vulnerable state, WITH MY PANTS AROUND MY ANKLES, knowing that a man could walk in at any second!!

Do you understand what it's like to have that kind of fear? I carry a weapon on me at all times. I avoid going anywhere by myself at night and I absolutely hate parking lots. If a van has tinted windows and is parked beside me, I'll get in on my passenger side. I wish I could live in that happy gumball world full of cotton candy that you seem to live in, but I live in this world, full of it's predators.

So now, you expect us sexual assault survivors to have to share a restroom with whomever decides to walk in? Do you have any idea what kind of panic attack I'd have if I were in the restroom and a man walked in? 1 in 6 women have these same fears as me!!! Regardless of religion, politics, race, or sexual preference, there are A LOT OF US SURVIVORS OUT THERE! Shame on you for being so blind! This is a safety issue, not a hate issue, and I pray you open your eyes before another woman becomes that 1 in 6!!!





~Amber

HOW TO KEEP GOSSIP OFF YOUR LIPS

A few years ago, I found myself gossiping all the time. I'd get around people and my opinions would just spew out by the mouthfuls, and boy did I have an opinion about everyone!



I'm not sure when or how it clicked with me, but The Holy Spirit brought it to my attention. God had me take a hard look at myself and I didn't like what I saw. I was trying to get my memoir published at that time and I felt The Holy Spirit in me telling me, "If you can't love the women I've placed in your life, why would I allow you to reach other women?"



It was a hard truth, but it was true. I needed to love the people in my life and I'm not talking about the superficial love we tend to give out on a whim. I'm talking about the way God loves; the sacrificial kind of love. The kind of love that's full of grace and forgiveness. That was the kind of love I lacked and it showed in my speech.



So I did some soul searching. I joined Bible studies and surrounded myself with Godly women. I dove into His word and really worked on changing my heart so that I could change my words.

 

"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh." ~LUKE 6:45



I drew closer to God, always asking Him to show me where and how He wanted me to change, no matter how painful that process might be and believe me, it was painful.  I lost a couple of friends during that time and it hurt, but I gained many more friends with the new, kinder me.

 

Since then I've worked really hard to make sure my words are kind and edifying. I don't always get it right, but I do really try. When I'm tempted to gossip, I ask myself a few questions and these have really helped me. Hopefully they will help you too.

When I'm tempted to speak about someone behind their back I first ask myself....



1) Is it kind?!!! --It doesn't matter if it's true. If you have a negative opinion about someone and feel the need to talk about it, then you should be speaking to the person you have those opinions about or you should keep your trap shut...



2) Will it change their (the person you're speaking to) opinion about that person (the person you're talking about) in a negative way? --This sort of falls in line with the previous one, but digs a little deeper. Here's the thing, you've developed your negative opinions about someone based on your experience with that person. Maybe they said something mean. Maybe they did something rude. Whatever it is, it's your opinion and telling someone else might change their opinion about that person too, when really, they should be allowed to make their own opinion about that person based on their own experiences. Does that make sense?



3) Is it your secret to tell? -- This one's a kicker but so very important!!! This is one I see people doing all the time and still not considering it gossip, but it is and here's why. Maybe you feel the need to share about someone else's situation. Maybe you've convinced yourself you're not "slandering" them by just sharing something like: "Did you hear _____'s husband cheated on her, but she stuck with him anyway?" Or "Did you know ______'s dad is in jail for ____?" But the truth is, it's still slander. And we've all been there before, where you try to rationalize that it's not "gossip" because it's public knowledge about so and so, but if it's in any way a negative secret, then it's not your secret to share! Let whoever's secret it is be the one to tell whomever they wish! Period! End of discussion!

 

EXAMPLE 1: One day I was in the car with a friend and she asked me why I didn't like someone. Apparently I had said or done something to lead her to this conclusion. I wrestled internally because I wanted to explain to her what my issues were with that person so she could see I was "completely justified" in my opinions :-p LOL. But in the end, what I wanted to say wasn't nice and it might have changed her opinions about that other girl, so instead I said, "A lot of my issues with her are my issues of me being judgmental and I'm praying for God to change my heart toward her." I meant every word and the funniest thing happened, I felt empowered! I felt amazing for making the right choice and I could feel Jesus smiling down on me! And do you know what else happened??? God did change my heart towards that other woman and I now call her one of my closest, dearest friends!



EXAMPLE 2: I was at a park one day with a new friend. She was new to our church and I'd asked her to hang out. At some point, in casual conversation, she asked about a woman from our church, wanting to know where that woman's husband was (the woman had 2 kids, but her husband was "away"). I wrestled internally because while this wasn't my secret to tell, it was technically public knowledge, but the other side of it was that it was a potentially hurtful secret. In the end, it just didn't feel right telling her that secret. I didn't want her to form any negative opinions about that other woman or her husband (who were both members of my church AND MY FRIENDS!). So I simply said, "I don't really feel comfortable telling you about that situation, but ______(the wife) is super sweet and if you ever want to talk to her about it you can." Once again I felt God smiling down on me and it felt so good to protect my friend's secret. And another blessing that came out of that is the "new woman" I was hanging out with is now one of my very best friends and one thing I love about our friendship is how we don't gossip. We are just two Christian women who love to hang out and don't feel the need to slander other women! :)



"Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do." ~1 THESSALONIANS 5:11

 

EXAMPLE 3: One time a friend told me a secret about a guy we both knew. I cringed as she told me because this was a man I respected within the church and I didn't want to know about the sins from his past. It was something from his past and not who he is now. I didn't encourage her as she talked and eventually the conversation went cold. Still, I couldn't un-know that secret once she told me and as much as I hate to admit it, it did change my opinion of that man. However, although I couldn't stop her from telling me, I decided I would never tell a soul. It was a sin from his past and it was his secret to tell. To this day I haven't even told my husband because I don't want it to change my husband's opinion of that man.



We 're all sinners and I for one am so grateful God doesn't throw my past mistakes back in my face!

"As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us." ~PSALM 103:12



Please don't think for a second I've got it all figured out or that I don't still have slipups, but these things have helped me and I hope this post will help you. Thanks for reading! :)



~Amber



Disclaimer: Sadly, I feel the need to clarify, for those who love to stir the pot, this blog post DOESN'T include warning someone about a potentially dangerous person. I am only referring to gossiping among friends and family that is nothing more than slander. And you all know which secrets I'm talking about. Secrets that CAN be shared are positive ones like birth announcements and such (after the parents have shared), or announcements to inform someone of something that isn't slanderous, such as someone being sick and in the hospital and things like that. And of course this doesn't include secrets about someone hurting you. You should always ask for help if you are being hurt! ALWAYS!

FOR MY READERS

Hey everyone! How's life been? My life has been a whirlwind of crazy, exciting things.

In January my memoir went live.

 PERFECTLY BROKEN is on Amazon as well as other retailers.

I had plans for a book launch and we were also planning to move that same month. It was sure to be a crazy month, but God had other plans.

My water broke in the middle of the night. (Did I mention I was 7 months pregnant while trying to do all these things?) I was only 32 weeks to the day when I woke up in a puddle. Long story short, I didn't go into labor, but was put on bedrest in the hospital for monitoring. After 2 1/2 weeks I delivered a healthy baby boy and after one week in nicu, we all came home. I'll write about that adventure another time, but wanted to explain why I haven't blogged in forever!

For the longest time I've wanted to post some old pictures from my memoir. Originally I included these pictures throughout the story, but because of legal reason, decided not to put them in the final, published version. BUT, this blog doesn't make any profit, so here are the pictures from my memoir. If you've read the book, then you should enjoy getting to put a face to the name.

These first 2 pictures were taken in Norfolk, Va. when Irene came to stay with us. She quickly became a part of our family. This first picture is her and little Al (my brother), asleep on the couch.

 

These next 2 pictures are at the airport when I arrived in Spain.

This is a picture of Irene's dad. 

And I'm sure you all remember my trip to the castle in Spain. Here's a picture of Mrs. Kidd., Fuen, and Irene.

 

 This is what I saw when I climbed the wall. Still not sure what the purpose of that thing is, but it was fun.

Here I am, standing on top of the wall I climbed. From up there I could see for miles and miles.

 This scene didn't make it into my book. I really had to pick and choose what was most important to the story. But these pictures are fun, so I figures I'd throw these in here. This was some sort of national park (I think).

 Here are 3 of the 5 Spanish exchange students. Mariah, Fuen, and Irene.

You might have to squint, but this is me and Irene. I'm on the left.

 Do you remember the tie-dye dress I bought? Well here it is :)

And that cute little bookstore.

 And I know you won't forget all that amazing music. I swear I can still hear it in my head :)

This is the last picture I took with Irene, right before I left. She went off to college and I moved to Florida and we lost touch. I miss her and hope to find her again someday!!

Here is my family, just a month before I delivered Willow in that last chapter. Me & Willow, Dorian, Wyatt, Mom, and Dad. (Al is grown now and was busy so he couldn't make it on that trip)

 This picture was last summer, one month before I found out I was pregnant. We are now a family of five. God has blessed me greatly!

 

When to call out sin

Some Christians like to call out other people's sin, but is that biblical? Well, it can be when done right. (As in, the way The BIble says to do it)

The Bible says we are to point out our friends' sin, but in love and humility.

"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed." JAMES 5:16

"Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted." GALATIONS 6:1

What that means is, we tell them, "I've noticed this and I'm worried you're headed down a bad road. Can we talk about it? Can we pray about it? How can I help you through this? How can I be an example of Christ for you?

The reason for calling them out isn't to condem them, but to raise them up in love. That is what we are called to do.

A very powerful verse comes to mind in this situation. One verse many people forget. This verse is the reason I have never called a friend out.

"And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thy own eye?" MATTHEW 7:3

It's tempting to want to point out people's faults, but unless we don't struggle with that sin, is it our place? If I struggle with self indulgence and gluttony, how can I point out gluttony in a friend? What if I'm thinner (so I don't struggle with it as much) but it's still a sin of mine? Can I call out my friend because I think my sin is less than hers??? No!!!!!!! That's self-righteous and hypicritical!!! You can however say, "This is something I struggle with, and I think you struggle too. Can we lift each other up and encourage each other and try not to do that sin?"

If we aren't going to love them through it, then we do nothing but slander them and hurt them, and that is NOT biblical!!! Beware of self-rigteousness! Remember that verse earlier about calling out sin, well go just a little further and it says this:

"For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself." GALATIONS 6:3

If you say, "this is your sin and the reason I can't be your friend." You miss the big picture entirely. And you miss out on the biblical blessing that comes from calling out sin.

The blessing of pointing out a friend's sin, and then loving them through it is, YOU GET TO WATCH THEM GROW!!!!! If they are truly a Christian, then they will want to grow. But if you point out their sins and walk away, you miss out on a blessing and most likely will be fighting your own self-righteous sins.

~Amber

Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies

I read a blog last week that got me thinking.




The blogger said her mom never taught her to love her body but then went on to say how her mom was busy teaching her to love others and work hard and serve the Lord. So this woman has grown up with neither low or high self-esteem. And that's great...... BUT, I couldn't help but notice in the picture at the end of the post how thin she was. She was maybe a size 4, probably a size 2 and therefore probably hasn't had to deal with many of the self-esteem issues that fuller figured girls have to deal with. Now I'm just filling in the blanks here, so stay with me, I have a point. My point is, can't we teach our daughters to love the way God created them as well as teach them to serve the Lord????




Let me tell you a little about me:




My self-esteem hasn't always been great, in fact it's always been quite low. I'm a curvy girl, so no matter what I ate or how many sports I played in HS, I was always slightly larger than my athlete friends. So much of it's genetics. I get my curves from my mom and when I was in HS we were really close to the same size and weight. My mom has always had low self-esteem and although she's told me my entire life how beautiful I am, she's never had much good to say about herself. And here lies the problem. How can you say I'm beautiful and you're fat when we look so much alike????


And I'm not here to pick on my mom, because like I said, she's never said anything less than praises about me. And truthfully, I see most of my friends repeating the same thing, and most of my mom's friends did the same thing. For some reason we think we can have low self-esteem and somehow teach our daughters to have good self-esteem.




So how do we teach our daughters to love how God created them???? We teach them by showing them that we love how God created us!




As the mother of a beautiful 4yo girl, I have to be careful about everything I say in front of her. One thing I decided long ago was that my children would NEVER hear me put myself down.




SCENERIO:
Over the summer my kids walked in the room when I was changing my shirt. I had on a bra already, but my 6yo son quickly said, "Ewww."




I knew it wasn't meant to put me down or hurt me. It was simply that I'm his mom and a girl and my body looks very different from his or his sister's. But this was a teachable moment that I wasn't going to let pass. My response was, "This stomach carried you and your sister. So I assure you, there is nothing gross about this body."




I scuffed up his hair and that was the end of that, and my daughter was there to witness it all. And you know what, I was pleasantly surprised that I meant what I said.




I'm now 5 months pregnant with my third child and my body changes daily it seems. And I'm not gonna lie, some days it's hard when I see the numbers on the scale rising just a little too fast, or the really cute, thin lady at church has a smaller stomach than me and she's a month further along than me. So I turn to the scriptures and let the Holy Spirit speak to me IN TRUTH.




Psalm 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.




I have to remind myself that God doesn't make mistakes and that includes how He created me. And my children love my ever growing body because they know what it will produce. My son hasn't said anything insulting about my stomach. He now showers my belly with kisses every day. My daughter is just amazed and can't stop touching my belly. They don't see that I'm slightly over-weight. They just see the beauty of creation as God sees it.




So I want to sum all of this up by saying, "Moms, your daughters (and sons) are watching you. Please don't insult how God created you because chances are your daughter will grow up to look much the same. Don't just tell your daughter she's beautiful, teach her that she's beautiful by loving yourself. She'll reflect what she sees, not what she hears."




And please, stop using the D-word and F-word in front of your children.
(This is a dangerous trend I see in so many of my Christian friends)




In our home we say healthy eating instead of DIET because that's what I want to teach my children. I don't want them remembering that mom yo-yo dieted. I want them to grow up knowing that healthy eating is important because we are to take care of the bodies God gave us.




And FAT is only ever a good word when you're talking about a juicy ribeye :) So don't use that word to describe yourself or anyone else for that matter. We are all His daughters and I'm sure God doesn't appreciate us slinging that word around either.




We reproduce what we are. So stay in the word and raise up a beautiful daughter of Christ. When this world and Satan try to tell you lies about yourself, find God's TRUTH in the word.













~Amber


(Check back next week for the second part of this: "If We Don't Teach Our Daughters What Beauty Is, The World Will"

MY GLUTEN FREE LIFE

I started this blog to share my writing trials and triumphs. It's been a couple of years and I've really stuck to that, but it's time to branch out. I'm not just a writer. I'm a Christian, wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend.

Recently many people have asked me for gluten-free recipes and tips. So, I've decided to expand my writing blog and share about my gluten-free life.

HERE'S WHERE IT ALL BEGAN:

At the end of November 2013, my son developed a rash under both his arms and on the back of both his knees. 

I put lotion and aquaphor on it for about a week, but it just got worse. We took him to the dermatologist and they gave us a prescription strength cream, but no answers as to why he had the rash.

I didn't really care too much at that time, I just wanted him better.

The cream kept the rash from getting worse, but didn't make the rash go away. After using the cream for two weeks, the lotion was gone but his rash wasn't. At night he tossed and turned, scratching and clawing at his skin. I tried letting him sleep without clothes in case he was hot.

It didn't help.

I tried keeping clothes on him to make him stop scratching.

Still didn't help.

We went back to the dermatologist. They gave us a stronger prescription, but still no answers as to what it was and why he had it. I brought up the possibility of testing him for allergies. Numbers were tossed around in the $700-$1,100 range. An elephant came and sat on my chest.

We don't have health insurance because my husband is self-employed. I'm a stay-at-home mom with two little ones, trying to get by on my husband's small income.

I had two internal voices yelling at me. One shouted, "We can't afford this!!!" The other scolded, "My son needs it! What kind of mother thinks about money at a time like this?"

I declined at that time and told myself I would research and compare prices and when the time came, I would choose whatever he needed, no matter what the cost, but I would make wise decisions, not hasty ones. But I still felt like I couldn't breathe. The elephant on my chest wasn't going anywhere.

So, we tried the new prescription and I couldn't believe how quickly it helped!!! His rash cleared up under his arms and behind his knees, where we applied the cream.

BUT WITHIN A COUPLE OF DAYS IT SPREAD TO HIS CHEST AND STOMACH. Where we applied the cream was clear, but whatever was wrong with him wasn't fixed, it just had to find a new place to expose it's ugly head.

The elephant on my chest was gaining weight.

His body screamed at me to help! His skin shouted, "I'm hurting! YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG AND I'M SHOWING YOU! NOW STOP POISONING THIS BODY!!!!"

But what was wrong? Why was it getting worse? How was I going to figure it out before my child had permanent scarring?

ELEPHANT. ON. CHEST. CAN'T. BREATHE.

One night I locked myself in the bathroom, ran a bath of hot water, and sobbed. I've learned in my lifetime that there's only one "person" I need to cry to.

This mommy thing can be hard. This mommy thing can be scary. I'm reminded in these times how much I need God. I felt so helpless. All I knew to do was pray.

The next day I told my husband I was putting Wyatt on a strict diet and if it didn't help then we'd have to get him tested before his skin was permanently scarred, not to mention the damage that might have been going on on the inside.

I took him off of eggs, ham, dairy, gluten, and anything I could think of that might be an allergy related food. I explained to Wyatt that it would be really hard for him but it was just until I knew what was causing his rash.

He ate fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, and grilled chicken.

Within 48 hours his skin was nearly spotless!!!!! This rash, which had progressively gotten worse for 6 weeks, was gone in just 2 days!!!!!!

It was an answered prayer! The elephant got up and walked away. My son was better and there didn't appear to be any scarring once it cleared!

Slowly I added foods back into his diet keeping a close eye on his skin. We started with eggs. I allowed him to eat eggs for a few days and the rash didn't come back. So I added ham back into his diet. (The kid loves ham)

A few days passed and he was still clear.

Finally I added dairy. I was sure by now it was either dairy or gluten. So I picked one and prayed for the best.

Still no rash!!!!

By process of elimination, I found out my son was allergic to gluten. And just to prove that it wasn't a fluke, from time to time Wyatt's skin breaks-out again. His rashes are mild and we can usually trace it back to a slip-up where he was exposed to gluten.

For example: We ate at Buffalo's one day after church. We ordered Wyatt the grilled chicken (plain) and corn on the cob. The next day the back of his knees were broke-out.

I knew I hadn't prepared anything that would cause this (because by now I was a pro in the kitchen at gluten-free meals) so my suspicions were on Buffalo's.

We went there the following week, ordered the same food, and got the same results.

The third week we went and I asked the waitress how they cooked their corn on the cob. She said they fry it in the frier.

I'd found the guilty culprit! (For those who are new to gluten-free, they fry all sorts of breaded foods in the frier and people who are very sensitive will have a reaction. Corn is gluten free; Restaurant friers aren't). We ordered broccoli that time and he didn't break-out!!

So I'm learning as I go. Sometimes we have to test things and see how his body responds. Somethings we don't even try--if I'm certain it's gluten then we just don't risk it.

We bring gluten-free brownies to any kid event that will include cake or cookies, this way Wyatt doesn't feel deprived. I send gummie snacks to his teacher so she has treats for him whenever she gives out treats. I made sure he had his own Easter candy to replace the candies in the Easter eggs he found. It takes work and time and I have to be one step ahead, but it's worth it to see my child happy and healthy and enjoying all the things the other kids do, just with gluten-free foods!

I'll start posting recipes and all the yummy things we've discovered over these past few months. I'm in no way an expert, but I'll gladly share my trials, errors, and gluten-free successes. I'd love your recipes and stories as well!!

Thanks for reading!

~Amber

GLUTEN FREE RECIPES

Okay, here are some of my most popular recipes. Most of them I've found or been told and so I will try my best to give credit where it's due :)


Up first, my son's absolute FAVORITE gluten-free food!



CHICKEN SALAD:

1.5 lbs. of boneless, skinless chicken thighs
1 large or 2 small apples (I prefer pink ladies)
20-30 purple grapes
1tbsp mayonnaise
1tsp salt
1tsp pepper
(optional nuts: walnuts or pecans chopped)

We all have different likes and dislikes. Use whichever fruit or chicken best suits you. Play with the recipe until it's your form of perfection :) I eyeball this recipe, so measurements are very adjustable.

Boil water, add chicken and cook for 15 minutes. (make sure it's cooked all the way through). Cut chicken into chunks.
Dice apple (remove core).
Cut grapes into quarters.
Throw everything into a bowl and add mayonnaise.
Stir with a spoon until it's evenly coated with mayonnaise.
Add salt and pepper. Stir and serve :)

I like it best when it's been chilled. I've been known to make it in large batches because my husband and son eat it for every meal when it's available. Seriously, they go through it like crazy.

This recipe originated from SAM'S. I ate some of their chicken salad, loved it, and thought I could make it at home. This is what I came up with :)



CHOCOLATE CHEX:

1 box of Vanilla Chex cereal
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips (gluten free)
1/4 cup butter
1 tsp vanilla (gluten free)

Pour cereal into gallon sized ziploc bag.
Melt butter in pan.
Add chocolate to butter and melt, continuously stirring.
Add vanilla.
Pour melted chocolate, butter, vanilla into ziploc.
Seal well and shake it like a salt shaker.
Once everything is well coated, pour onto a baking sheet and chill in the fridge for an hour then it's ready to eat. (I put foil on my baking sheet to keep the chex from sticking)
I usually put it in a container once chilled. Keep leftovers refrigerated.

This recipe can be found on many of the Chex boxes. I've just tweaked it a little to make it gluten free.



CHEX MIX: 

(this recipe is too big to fit into one bag, so the instructions explain how to prepare for the large portion, you can half it if you'd rather)

1 box of Corn Chex
1 bag of gluten free pretzel sticks (I use Glutino brand which I get at Ingles)
2 sticks of butter
2 packs of Hidden Valley original ranch dressing seasoning

Pour 1/2 cereal and 1/2 pretzels into gallon sized ziploc. Pour the other half of both into another gallon sized ziploc.
Melt 2 sticks of butter.
Pour half the butter into one bag and the other half into the other bag.
Pour 1 pack of seasoning into one bag, the other pack of seasoning into the other bag.
Seal well and shake 'em like a salt shaker
When everything is evenly coated, pour 1 bag onto baking sheet and bake in oven at 350 for 10 minutes.
Remove that batch, store in container, and repeat with next batch.
Now you have a large portion of Chex mix to take to a party or munch on for days :)

My mother-n-law gave me this recipe :)


RICE KRISPY TREATS: 


6 cups of Rice Krispies Gluten Free cereal
1 package (10 oz.) marshmallows
3 tbsp butter


Have rectangle pan or glass dish ready and well coated with nonstick spray (Any size works, just depends on how thin or thick you want you treats to be)
Melt butter over low heat.
Add marshmallows and stir continuously until melted
Add cereal and stir until evenly coated
Immediately pour into dish
Give it a few minutes to cool then use sheet of wax paper to press down until firmly packed in.
Wait until it's fully at room temperature before cutting and serving. (no need to chill or bake, just store in closed container)

Warning: They are very sticky. I spray a spoon with butter to help get it from pot to dish.

I took this to Wyatt's class party yesterday and they were a big hit :) No one could tell they were gluten free, but they had that fresh, home cooked taste which my hubs said was better than the prepackaged ones.

I got this recipe from www.ricekrispies.com (It's the original recipe, just switched out with gf cereal)


I'll post more recipes another day.




~Amber

WHEN GOD IS BIGGER THAN MY EXPECTATIONS

Choosing to do a KICKSTARTER (click to go to link) to raise the funds for my memoir was scary because it was something that would be completely out of my control. I had no idea what to expect once the kickstarter was up and running. What would I do if it failed? Would that break my spirit? What if all those people who say they support me, really don't mean it?

I told myself that I had to trust in God to take care of this. If it was the right time, then He would pave the way. If it wasn't the right time, He would close this door and lead me in a different direction and I needed to trust His will for my life. I WOULD trust His will for my life.

What I figured would happen is somewhere around 30-50 of my closest friends and family would donate small amounts of $15-$30. I had a list of people in my head that I was sure would step in and help. I knew this still wouldn't get me to the needed amount of $4,500, but that's where I prayed God would step in and do a miracle.

This is where I laugh.

People are unpredictable. People are unreliable.

God is always the same. I had too much faith in people and not enough faith in God---A life long struggle of mine. But God is faithful to remind me who's in control.

I posted the kickstarter on my fb and almost instantly I had a $100 donation!!! A few minutes later I had another $100 donation!

Before five minutes was over, I had $200 worth of donations. As I wiped tears from my eyes I asked my husband who he thought it was from. We both figured it was a friend of my mom's who's always quick on fb. The second donation we weren't sure. I finally figured out how to check the names and when I saw the two names my mouth fell open and my eyes filled with tears.

I knew these names, but they weren't names I expected to see. One of them was an old friend who I hadn't seen in fourteen years (we live in different states). Another was a follower on twitter who I barely know at all.

I was speechless.

And then days passed with nothing. Several friends retweeted and helped spread the word on fb, but the donations weren't coming. And then church came and went and people just pretended like they didn't see my kickstarter on fb. And when I brought it up people just kind of brushed me off.

I found myself crying later that day, but this time they weren't happy tears; They were tears of disappointment.

It wasn't about the money as much as it was about the principle. I have done for many of these people and when I found myself in need..... well they just weren't interested.

I could rattle off dozens of names of people who I've brought food to when they had babies, bought gifts for on birthdays or baby shower gifts. I'm always eager to give. I LOVE to give.

After my EPIC pity party, I made my mind up about a few things.

#1-I was jumping to conclusions. Some of them might be waiting for payday. Some of them might be intentionally waiting until the end to make sure they donate enough. I needed to stop judging!!!! I NEEDED TO STOP BEING A SELFISH CRYBABY AND STOP JUDGING!

#2-I would continue to give. Even if none of my church friends donated. I would continue to do for them when things came up because that's who I am.

#3-I wouldn't hold a grudge no matter what the outcome was. Bitterness eats away at a person.

I don't know what those people are going through and if they don't have the means to donate $15 then I need to be understanding.

So a couple of weeks have passed since and only 5 people from my church donated out of the 30 or so that I "expected".  BUT those 5 people donated $895!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHOA!!! GOD IS SO MUCH BIGGER THAN MY OBSTACLES.

I've had several family members donate. And of course I've got to give a shout out to my mom! :) And remember that gap I mentioned, where the number of friends and family, plus the small donations I "expected", didn't equal the amount needed?

Well, so far I've had 9 people I don't know donate a total of $1,606!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These are people who have come across the kickstarter and were moved to donate!

On top of those numbers, there have been many people who weren't on my "expected" list who've donated. And when I get the notification saying that someone who I haven't seen in twelve years just donated $55, I'm left with my jaw on the floor.

God is all over this situation and I have been blown away! I can't believe the amounts being donated! I'm just in awe of His power.

As of right now I have 23 backers who've donated $4,196!!! Those two numbers together just blow my mind!!!!

So things haven't turned out how I "expected", but they've shown me how powerful God is.

The kickstarter is 93% funded and 9 days left to go. But I'm not worried. God's got this!!!! He is so much bigger than my "expectations"!!!


~Amber

Check out my beautiful cover and please support my kickstarter

With the help of CHRISTIAN PHOTOSHOP, I created this mock book cover for PERFECTLY BROKEN (his picture, I asked him to make her hair brown, which he did, then I was able to add the words). Isn't it gorgeous?

But I didn't do this just for fun, I created this mock cover to help promote my KICKSTARTER for PERFECTLY BROKEN. Many of my writer friends have probably heard of kickstarter, but for those who haven't, let me explain.

A couple of weeks ago, when God confirmed that I should self publish (which you can find in this blog post ---> LET'S CATCH UP), I began to do my research. I quickly realized that I do not have any of the necessary skills to self publish all by myself. So I researched into different companies that assist with the self publishing and I came across WESTBOW PRESS.They are a Christian self publishing company that was created by THOMAS NELSON and ZONDERVAN (two if the top Christian publishing companies)! After looking through all they assist with and their package deals, I knew this was the company I wanted to use. I spoke to them over the phone. They and I were very excited, but after crunching my numbers, it was clear it would be at least 6 months before I could save enough money. The next day a writer friend of mine suggested I look into kickstarter. I had heard of it before, but hadn't ever participated.

Once again I did my research and instantly fell in love with the idea. 

Kickstarter is a company that helps you raise the money needed to fund your project. What I love so much about kickstarter is that I get to give rewards for each donation. My pride struggles to accept handouts, but by giving rewards, I'm allowing my friends and family to donate money to help me and they get to walk away with goodies such as hardback copies of my memoir.

One thing that is both good (for you) and bad (for me) is that if the kickstarter isn't 100% funded at the end of the 30 days, then none of it is funded. So when you donate money, none of it gets charged until the kickstarter is complete. If all the funds are raised, you'll get an email stating the kickstarter was successful and you will then be charged the amount of your donation. The reason for this is that the rewards can only be fulfilled if all of the money is raised. So if only half the money is raised, then no one will be charged and none of the rewards will be sent.

So if the kickstarter isn't 100% successful, I'm back to square one,

rubbing pennies together until I have enough saved to publish. But I believe with all my heart this is what God has called me to do and I trust His will for my life. I'm leaning on my faith in His promises. So many of you have encouraged me and offered to help in a variety of way.

I can't thank you enough!

I'm so excited to be one step closer to sharing my memoir with the public! Will you help me get published by donating???? There are options to donate from $1 and up. And every donation over $15 gets a copy of PERFECTLY BROKEN (e-book, paperback, and hardback options). So it's kind of like pre-ordering my memoir, but you get to help me publish as well!!! I can't do this without your help!!

Here's the link to my kickstarter ---> PERFECTLY BROKEN KICKSTARTER and if you absolutely can't spare a single dollar, you can still help me by promoting and sharing the link to my kickstarter!!! Word of mouth is priceless when it comes to self publishing!!!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post. All of your support has meant so much to me over these couple of years!!!

~Amber

LET'S CATCH UP

I feel so disconnected right now, but it's been a good thing. I decided to take several weeks away from social media to focus on Jesus; who He is and what He did for me, and what it is I'm supposed to do. In this time of deep reflection I greatly enjoyed some much needed family time as well. A lot happened while I was away.

On April 3rd, my husband and I traveled to Nashville, TN. and I gave my testimony in front of the camera for Christian Television Network. The air date hasn't been set yet, but I'm very excited. I have no clue what I said (I was so nervous), I just pray the Holy Spirit spoke loud and clear through me.

To know more about my testimony you can find it on this blog post here --> I am a warrior for Christ






Also, I've made a very BIG decision. I HAVE DECIDED TO SELF PUBLISH! Let me just say, this has been a very difficult decision. Some people jump at the idea to self publish. I on the other hand went kicking and screaming. It wasn't until I had a very LOUD confirmation from the Lord that I finally surrendered, but I'll get back to that in a second. Let me first explain this journey and how I ended up here.

Two years ago God laid it on my heart to write my memoir. The Holy Spirit in me kept telling me how healing the pages would be for so many women. So, as hard as it was for me to relive some of those days through my writing, I gave in to the call. What I didn't expect were all the rejections that followed. I mean, I WAS CALLED TO DO THIS, SO THIS ROAD WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SMOOTH, RIGHT? RIGHT?!!!

Well, Jesus has brought me to my knees time and time again through this journey continuously showing me that I can't do any of this on my own. Every time I feel like giving up, because it's so hard to keep getting rejections when I've poured my heart into these pages, I'll get an email from someone I've never met telling me how much my testimony has touched their heart and how they can't wait to read my memoir. Each tweet, DM, and email is like a hug from Jesus and He whispers, "Have faith that I will see you through to the other side of this."

I always wanted to be traditionally published because that would help spread the word about my story. It has never been and will never be about money, I just wanted my memoir to be available in stores to help spread the word.

I did have an agent for a year who made empty promises, but this post isn't going to be about wolves in sheep clothes. To sum it all up, I've exhausted my query efforts which amounted to--"This is powerful and healing and needs to be published, but memoirs are very hard to sell and I'm just not the right person for this."

A little over a week ago a very close friend of mine called me aside and handed me an envelope. I have to admit I was nervous. Her mood was unreadable. I opened the envelope and unfolded the letter. Immediately I notice a check inside, but refused to look at it before reading the letter.

She wrote that she had been led by the Holy Spirit to give me money to help me self publish. Her and her husband had been praying about it for a week. (I had no clue!)

I bawled like a baby. In fact, we both bawled. It was a beautiful moment. It was also the confirmation I needed. It was God's answer to my endless prayers of, "Lord please show me the path you want me to travel."

So this is where I am. And although self publishing is completely terrifying to me, I have a deep peace in knowing this is in God's hands and He will see me through to the other side.

After research and prayer, I've decided to use WESTBOW Publishing to self publish. I've put two full years into this memoir, working endless hours at editing, platform, promotion, and all the in and outs of the writing world, so I want to make sure that when my memoir does enter this world it's as polished and professional as possible. (You can find the opening chapters to my memoir here --> first two chapters  )

It still might be a while before I can save up enough to self publish (I have 1/3 of what I need), but I wanted to let everyone know what's been happening and how they can continue to pray. YOU ALL have been so amazingly supportive!!! I can never say thank you enough. I've met so many caring people and I thank God for you each and every day. I look forward to what Jesus has in store and the lives that will be touched and the hearts that will be healed through the power of the Holy Spirit. Thank you for following me on this journey.




HEBREWS 11:1 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

11:6 "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."


~Amber

Today I came across this blog post that someone wrote back in 2009: http://www.bhagwad.com/blog/2009/philosophy/5-reasons-why-i-wont-tip-you-if-youre-a-waiter.html/

It made my blood boil. I was so outraged at the cruelty, selfishness, and ignorance of the author. My first response was that I needed to write a rebuttal, something along the lines of ‘Here are the reasons I will ALWAYS tip a waiter at least 20%’. But as I plotted out the list in my head, my own bitterness toward those type of people (the ones who don’t tip or tip really low) came out. And I don’t think my points would be as strong. Rants never sound good even when they have valid points.

So, let me paint a picture for you in the way that I know how, by writing a story. This is a true story about where I was 10 years ago. (I’ve made up the family I served to make a point).

WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW

I park my car in my usual spot and get out. Dread fills my stomach. I’d give anything to be home on the couch, doped up with pain meds and sleeping. Instead I’m here, gritting through the pain without any meds because if I don’t work, the bills won’t get pain.

My apron sags on my waist. I readjust it a little tighter as I walk through the doors of Longhorn Steakhouse.

Andrea stands at the bar, getting change for her upcoming shift. She sees me and walks over. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she says quietly and I understand that to mean the she-witch must also be scheduled for Andrea to be so relieved to see me. She squeezes my forearm and walks to the hostess stand, no doubt to see what section she has tonight.

I go to the back and clock in. The Friday night servers trickle in, stocking glasses, making tea. I’m on bread duty tonight which means I have to constantly check the bread to make sure there are always fresh, hot loaves, but not too many that they burn. It’s an impossible station that will have me working nonstop.

“Amber, I sat you at table 62,” the hostess calls to me from the alley doorway.

“Okay, thanks.” I wash my hands and dry them, pausing before walking out there. God, please give me the strength to get through this night.

Out at the table I’m greeted by four smiling faces—a mom, dad, and their two teenagers.

“Welcome to Longhorn.” I place the drink napkins in front of them. “Have you ever eaten here before?” It hurts to speak, but I keep the smile on my face.

They seem receptive and friendly. These are the kind of tables I like. They make my nights not seem so bad.

I finish the spiel we’re forced to say to customers, take their drink orders, and head to the alley.

Someone opens the bread drawer. There are only two loaves left. I kneel down and grab some loaves from under the cabinet and toss them into the oven.

“Hey, did you talk to the doctor today?” Andrea sits her tray down and loads three glasses on top.

I press the timer for the bread and grab a tray to load beside her. “Yeah. He said they still haven’t heard from the lab.” My throat clenches and I swallow the lump. I refuse to cry at work. I refuse.

Andrea sighs. “But how can they not know? They said they’d know in one week and that was three weeks ago.”

“I know. The longer they take to diagnose it, the more convinced I am that it’s really bad. He said it was most likely cancer, but how many chin cancers are there?”

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Andrea’s eyes water.

“Don’t you do that.” I point at her and shake my head. If she starts crying then I will.

“I’m not.” She forces a smile. “I just got something in my eyes.” She slides open the ice bin. It’s completely empty.

We both sigh. Just great. I walk off to the back and grab a bucket. Andrea joins me, grabbing the other bucket and we scoop ice into both. I don’t even know why the managers put some of the servers on Friday nights. It’s always the same people who don’t carry their weight and it’s always the same people who have to pick up their slack.

We finish loading our buckets, lug them up front, and pour them into the bin.

I pull out my notepad to make sure I get the drinks right and scoop ice into each glass. I have to hurry now. It’s been several minutes since I took their drink order.

Owen, the night manager, walks over and leans on the wall. “Hey.” He reaches for the edge of my sleeve and tugs it to get my attention. “How are you doing? Any news?”

“Nothing yet.” I glance at him and shrug.

He makes a face like he ate something sour. “Does it hurt? It looks so painful.”

I roll my eyes and place a glass under the coke dispenser. “Yes it hurts. It feels like someone hit me in the jaw with a baseball bat, but thanks for reminding me how deformed my face is.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. You don’t look deformed. No one would even know you have a tumor. It just looks like you have a really big chin.”

“Owen! Shut-up.” Andrea smacks his arm on her way out of the alley with a tray of drinks in her other hand.

I finish loading the drinks and walk to my table with a smile on my face, trying to pretend that Owen’s words don’t hurt my feelings. I know he’s just a stupid guy who means well.

I place the small tray on the edge of the table. My chin throbs, but I force my motor skills to take over. I’ve grown used to the constant ache over the past few weeks. Well, as used to it as anyone can. “Here are your cokes.” I hand the teens and the dad their drinks. “And your sweet tea.” I hand the mom her glass.

She raises her brows and points to it like I sat a rat down in front of her. “I asked for unsweet tea,” she sneers.

“Oh.” I put the glass back onto the tray. “I’m sorry. I’ll get that right back to you.”

“Mom, you totally said sweet tea,” her daughter says.

She shakes her head. “No, I said unsweet.”

“My mistake. I’ll get you unsweet.” I try to sound as kind as I possibly can. I know she said sweet tea because I wrote it down as soon as she said it, but I need her tip. The doctor bills are already piling up from the biopsy and my $2.35 an hour goes straight to taxes. I reach for my notepad. “Are you ready to order?”

“Not until you get my drink?” She looks at me like I’m a complete idiot.

“Okay. I’ll be right back.” I reply like I’m the sweetest person in the world, place my notepad back into my apron, and grab the tray from the table.

It’s just an extra minute or so to get her a new drink, but that extra minute could mean that several orders go to the kitchen before theirs. The dining room is filling up quickly. Soon the cooks will be slammed. It would be better for them if I could put in their order and then bring her a drink, but whatever. The customer is always right.

I get her drink and take their order with a smile. The mom seems to have settled down, so maybe my chances at a decent tip aren’t shot.

I type their dinner order into the computer just as the hostess double seats me. This girl’s been here a month and she still has no clue what she’s doing.

My stomach growls. I place my hand on my belly. The hardest part about possibly having cancer and dying at the age of twenty is that I’ll never get to be a mom.

My eyes water. I shake my head and force that thought to the back of my mind. I don’t get to be a person with feelings and issues when I’m here.

Act professional. Keep it together. Keep it together.

I grab a solo cup and fill it with coke. I’m so hungry, but chewing hurts too much and I’m sick to death of mashed potatoes. The soda fills my stomach with carbonation which helps a little. It’ll have to do for now.

I walk to my new tables and take their drink orders back to back. On my way to the drink station I notice the first table is running low on soda. I grab the large tray, pull out my notepad to make sure I get it right, and load the tray with all three tables worth of drinks.

Everyone seems happy. They have full glasses, bread, and their orders are in.

“Amber, your food’s up,” Ashley calls from the food window.

She helps me carry the plates out to the first table. I make sure everyone's food is exactly how they ordered it, check and see if there’s anything else I can get, and when they’ve assured me everything’s great, I go to check on my other tables.

As I walk off, out of the corner of my eyes I see them bow their heads and the dad says something softly while they all listen. After a few seconds, in unison they say, “Amen.”

I always like it when I see a family pray together. It’s how I hoped to raise my family someday.

Later, I stand in the back with Andrea, while I wait for the first table to pay.

“Here you go, babe,” Whitney, the bartender, hands me a shot glass with a teaspoon amount of whiskey in it.

“Thanks.” I smile at her and pretend I don’t notice the ‘poor kid’ look in her eyes.

It’ll only give me about five minutes of relief, but it’s something. I stick my pointer finger into the brown liquid and rub it on my bottom gums, just below my front six teeth. It numbs in seconds.

I check on my tables. My other two tables are eating and everything seems good.

The dad and mom from my first table stand up.

I walk over and notice cash on top of their bill. “Do you need any change?”

“No, we’re good,” the mom says and gives me a fake smile.

“Well, thanks for coming. Have a nice evening,” I say as genuinely as I can muster up.

The daughter smiles at me as she slides out of the booth. “Thanks. Everything was really good.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” It’s nice to see she’s not as rude as her mom. I reach for their glasses, which are the only things left on the table, and load them all into my arms. The hostess will need to seat this table right away, so I have to clean it immediately. I stuff their bill and the wad of cash into my apron and head to the kitchen.

After emptying the glasses and putting them in the rack to be washed, I clean my hands for the millionth time and go to the computer. I type in their table number. The order pops up and I flip to the close-out screen. I pull the cash out of my pocket and thumb through it, counting in my head.

My eyes go wide. I look at the amount on the screen and recount the money. Surely I miss-counted.

After counting their money four times, the amount hasn’t changed. They left me $73 on a bill that was $71.86.

My heart sinks to the pit of my empty stomach. I take a slow breath and type into the computer that I received $80 in cash. For tax purposes servers have to claim somewhere around 10% in tips. If we claim too low it looks suspicious and the IRS gets involved. They want to make sure they get their tax money.

I go through the night with a smile on my face, working on autopilot because if I stop to think about the pain in my chin I will collapse. My feet hurt too. I really need new shoes, but that’s the least of my worries.

The restaurant closes and I start my nightly stock duties. It takes me over an hour to finish. It’s nearly midnight by the time I can go home. On my way out, Andrea hugs me goodnight.

Her shoulder grazes my chin. The pain is instant and it consumes me.

I cry out and pull away. My eyes flood with tears. I can’t hold them. My chin pounds like a drum. Spots appear in my peripheral vision.

“Oh no!” Andrea puts her hand to her mouth. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” She reaches for me, but pulls away like she’s scared she’ll hurt me again.

Tears roll down my cheeks. I blink them away and force my jaw to move despite the agonizing pain. “It’s okay,” I mumble, trying not to use my lips or any muscles attached to my tumor. I let my jaw hang loose in an effort to lessen the pain.

“What can I do?” Andrea squeals. Her eyes water.

I hold my hand up. “It’s fine.” I cover my mouth in case I drool. Every nerve in my chin is on fire. It feels like someone just beat me with a sledge hammer. I can’t say another word. I just need this night to be over.

I turn and leave, unable to comfort Andrea because that would require more speaking and it just hurts too much.

In my car, I slump over the steering wheel and let the tears fall like rain. My chest heaves, but I can’t let any sound escape my lips for fear of the extra pain it might cause. I sob silently until the pain softens enough to bear.

The events of the night run through my mind. It really wasn’t a bad night. Most of my tables were great. I’m just in too much pain to enjoy anything.

But that one family… My heart speeds up in anger. How could they bow their heads and present themselves as Christians and then basically spit in my face with that joke of a tip? I spent an hour serving them, doing everything they asked of me.

I’ve been over everything that was said and done two times and I didn’t do anything wrong aside from the drink mix up which wasn’t even my fault. So, why would they treat me like that?

I crank up my car. If I sit here any longer, someone will come check on me and I don’t want that.

On my way home, I think about that family.

If those parents only knew what I was going through, would they look at me differently? If they only knew the pain I was in, would they be more generous? Maybe one day I’ll see them in Heaven and they’ll know how cruel they were. Maybe one day they’ll understand.

But until then, people like that should stick to fast food. If you can’t afford the service at a restaurant then don’t go.

Sorry if this was a bit of a downer. Let me conclude with, I DID NOT have cancer. The tumor was diagnosed four weeks after the biopsy as Central Giant Cell Granuloma. It is a fairly common tumor that is typically slow in growth and painless, but mine was in the small percentage of fast growing, extremely painful tumors. I had three surgeries over the next year to remove it... because it was so aggressive, it came back twice and had to be removed again and again. But I'm happy to say that it's been 9 years since I've had any tumors.

I now have a loving husband and two wonderful children and I am very blessed, but my life wasn't always this way. I hope the next time you go out to eat, you think about your waiter as a person. You never know what they could be hiding behind their smile. Be kind. Be generous. But by golly, if you are going to bow your head and publicly praise Jesus, you'd better represent Him when you leave that tip. What if that server had decided to give church a try and then they got a table like the one I described above? OR what if that waiter went to church the following Sunday and then bumped into those people???? Now I doubt the author of that other blog is a Christian and it's clear in his mean post, but I know several Christians who I won't go to a restaurant with because I'm embarrassed at how they treat servers. If you love God, you should show it in how you treat others.

Feel free to share this post with all of your cheap friends :)

~Amber