Something God's put on my heart lately is love. And while I don't think I struggle with love, I know I struggle with forgiveness. I can hold a grudge like nobody's business, and if I haven't forgiven someone in my heart, then my fake smile, and fake words aren't true love; not the way Jesus loves. Because when He said my sins are forgiven, He meant it. So who am I to not forgive someone else when I've been forgiven? Who am I to not truly love someone else, when I am so truly loved by God?
What God has been speaking to my heart is--if I am His; if I am filled with The Holy Spirit, then I don't get to pick and choose who He loves through me.
And I try to excuse it all away, "But God, did you see what she did to me?"
And He simply replies, "I still love her."
"But God, did you hear what he said to me?"
"I still love him."
It's not easy for me to see the world through God's eyes. I see through my own hypocritical, self righteous eyes and God says, "Amber, despite what they say or do, I STILL LOVE THEM. I'm trying to use you to show them how much I love them, but you keep getting in my way."
So, I'm working on it. It's easy for me to love people I don't know. It's much harder for me to love people I've felt betrayed by, but if I am His hands and feet then I don't get to pick and choose.