October 18, 2012

Taking the next step with one eye open

So I've written a memoir, what's next?

Well, have you had it critiqued and then edited it until it's all spit polished and shiny?


Is it something people will want to read? Because a lot of people write memoirs that are really kinda, well, you know, boring.

Not mine. It has intensity, kidnapping and rape, police interrogations, school fights, roller coaster of highs and lows that any teenager will relate to, traveling to a foreign country, climbing castle walls, best friends, falling crazy in love and then having to make a single decision that will change the rest of your life? Oh and above all else, it has faith. A broken girl with nothing and no one to turn to except Christ. So yeah, I truly believe people will want to read it.

Okay then, now it's time to build your platform.

My plat-what?

Your platform. Are you famous?

Well no.

Okay then, you have to in a sense, become famous.

What? Why?

Because even if you have a wicked awesome memoir, nobody knows who you are. So nobody will read it. You've gotta put yourself out there. Write articles for magazines, contact organizations, become a volunteer, blog, tweet, vlog. Oh and, purchase the book HOW TO WRITE A BOOK PROPOSAL by Michael Larsen.

But, but, but... I don't wanna. I don't want to do anything. I just want to write my memoir and tomorrow it be on the Best Seller's list. Cause that's how it happens, right? RIGHT? Well, fine then--if I have to.

This wasn't exactly how the conversation went with an ubber awesome, could only dream of agent, but you get the gist of it. So Tuesday I purchased HOW TO WRITE A PROPOSAL along with several women's magazines that I might be able to interest in some articles from me regarding my rape and the steps I took to put that man behind bars. Yesterday I emailed the Norfolk police station to figure out what I needed to do to get my old police records. Then I went on the RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) website and got the forms needed to get the ball rolling on becoming a RAINN speaker/activist. So slowly but surely I'm getting out there and trying to make this happen.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't deathly afraid of these things. Getting up in front of strangers and telling them what happened to me is TERRIFYING! Like please, can I swim with sharks, or dive in a pit of spiders instead? Please? But seriously, I believe more than anything that other girls need to hear my story. Maybe it will help them to better understand the dangers out there so they don't have to go through what I went through. Maybe they have been abused and need to know they aren't alone. Maybe they've been assaulted and need some encouragement to come forward and report what's happened. I don't know where God will use my story, or who it will touch. All I know is it's my job to step out ON FAITH and let him do the rest.

So here I go, taking the next step. One eye is eagerly open; the other is protectively closed. Both arms are defensively in front of me to brace for impact. My heart beats against my chest as if to demand off of this roller coaster. My stomach spins nonstop, churning my food into bile and threatening to send it back up. Yet, despite the rebellion of my flesh, in my mind I hear a small, steady voice saying, "Do not be afraid, for I am with you."

1 PETER 4:14-15
"But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled; 15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:"


Ink in the Book said...

Fear is a big enemy to many, including me. It sounds like oyu have a lot on your plate, but it sounds exciting! You are in my thoughts and prayers:)

Amber said...

Thanks so much!!!

Ink in the Book said...

Thanks for the message on my blog! I'd love for my kiddo's to take at look at your old, shelved book. Sound awesome and a pity it was shelved. I think it would be a great book to pitch!