May 27, 2012

Query and first 500 contest

Today there is a fun contest. Sharon over at The Blue Word is hosting Wilde's Fire Editor Judged Contest. Krystal Wade, author of Wilde's Fire and editor for Curiosity Quills Acquisitions Editor for Young Adult will be hopping around and putting in a request for any that tickle her fancy.Here is my entry.


GENRE: YA high fantasy

Dear Ms. Wade,

When Gabe’s best friend is kidnapped, he will risk everything to save him, even if it means starting an intergalactic war.

Gabe is seventeen, clumsy, and as hot-headed as a match. Lightning powers and a short fuse aren’t exactly a good combination. But when his parents are murdered and his best friend Rhet is kidnapped by the mayor of Shaoc, Gabe’s anger and power are exactly what he needs for rescue and revenge. It might also be his undoing.

On his quest Gabe meets a pint-sized woman with warrior skills. When she saves him from an assassin he finds a very useful ally. They flee the over-populated, high-tech city to a hidden cave she calls home. What Gabe didn't know was that her home is full of misfit teens she's rescued, each with their own powers and tragic story of the mayor’s reign. They are planning a rebellion and Gabe must learn to wield a sword and fight if he is ever to save Rhet, but he can’t stop fighting against these intergalactic strays long enough to fight along-side of them. In this cave full of emotionally damaged teens it is hard to differentiate friend from foe. A crush threatens to distract, and a betrayal might end them all.

Time is running out for Rhet. War is inevitable.

UNYIELDING is a YA high fantasy and is complete at 62,000 words. It is a cross between I am Number Four by Pittacus Lore and Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs. The first chapter of UNYIELDING has been published as a fantasy flash fiction excerpt on an agent’s blog, Sarah LaPolla’s- Glass Cases.

* * *

Glass shattered, piercing the silence of night. Gabe leapt from bed in a state of panic and his blankets tackled him to the floor. Flailing around, he wrestled unsuccessfully with the materials. Pins and needles pricked in his palms. Not again! He froze and took a slow breath, trying to settle his anxiety to keep from setting his covers ablaze. His power calmed.

He broke free and sprang up. What was that? Gabe stared at his open door, searching for signs of movement beyond his room.

The house slept. Silent.

Good, it was just a dream.

No sooner had the thought entered his mind, a shadow dashed through his door. Before there was time to react to the potential danger, she was at his side, arms outstretched.

“Sis…” he said, exhaling a deep breath. “Why are you out of bed?” He bent over and picked up his frightened, little sister.

“The noise scared me,” Kyla whimpered, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist and throwing her arms about his neck.

She heard it too! His throat clenched shut. What should I do? Did Mom and Dad hear it?

He attempted to lower the six-year-old to the ground, but she squeezed tighter, moaning.

Suddenly the house shook, booming as if a rocket had barreled through the living room. A scream shot up the stairs.


Kyla cried out. Gabe clasped his hand to her mouth and darted to the safety of his closet. He pealed her from his waist, placed her on the ground and began ripping shirts from their hangers in a frantic effort to hide her. “I’m going to see what’s happening,” he whispered, swallowing hard against the lump in his throat.

“No,” she bellowed, trying to wiggle out from her shelter.

“I’ll be right back.” He hoped. “But I need you to stay here.”

He finished packing her in then knelt. Her deep, brown eyes streamed with tears, stabbing his heart with each droplet. He longed for words to comfort her, but what do you say to a six-year-old in a time like this? “You can’t make a sound no matter what you hear.” He gulped, fighting the tears. “Okay?”

She nodded somberly, grabbing the nearest shirt to wipe her nose.

He kissed her forehead, whispered, “I love you,” and scurried out of the small closet, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Slowly he crept out of his room and down the hall, avoiding each creak in the floor by memory as he made his way to the top of the staircase.

He made it a few steps down when-

“Gabriyel,” a man’s voice called to him.

His eyes shot wide. Who? Nobody called him by his full name. How did this person know it was him?

“I’m glad you finally worked up the courage to join us,” the voice taunted. “Please come and sit with your parents?”

“NO!” his mother screeched.

At the sound of her anguish Gabe sprang into action, forgetting his fears.

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